December 31, 2006

Count down to 2007

New Year's Eve...wow, 2006 went by very quickly! Let's see, anything good happen this year...thinking....thinking....I guess all my family and friends are healthy so those are definitely good things.
Yesterday I went over to Julie's house and we had a Gone With the Wind marathon.
Good Lord I forget how long that movie is! I think we began watching it at 5 and it ended about 9:30. I also forget what a big brat Scarlett is. Brat is the word I shall use since this is a PG rated blog.
Let's see, for Christmas I gave Julie a lovely bamboo plant and photo album. She gave me a back massage thingie that I used earlier yesterday and it made me kind of nauseous. Perhaps I used it on an empty stomach and that's a no-no. I wonder if that's mentioned in the instructions?
And boy did I call it! Protron is a piece of junk! Again the PG rating comes in handy here. I opened the box, removed Protron, plugged all the correct wires into the correct places (I hope), and....nothing happened. The little door that is supposed to pop out and take the dvd didn't open, no scrolling message that says "hello, menu, busy" or anything halfway helpful happened. I eventually had to
pry the little door open and it took the dvd but after that, zip! Dead in the water. So I called Mom and asked her to mail me the receipt and then just hooked back up my old but trusty Samsung dvd player.
Craig said he will take a look at the junky dvd player today but I really hold out no hope. I think that this dvd player came with the capacity to work for no person.
Tonight Mary Lou is hosting her annual New Year's Eve bash. Quite a crowd is
expected to come, I think about ten of us in all. Texas Hold'em is on the agenda and boy have I been practicing. My brother Randy has been teaching me all the tricks and I am ready to rock! True, the last time I played with this crowd I lost all my chips pretty early on but that's not gonna happen this time....good luck is on my side tonight!

Mr. Sandman is sooo fired!

Oooh...a four day weekend for me!
Alas, I cannot fully enjoy having these days off because I can't do the most sought after weekend pleasure...sleeping in!
Yesterday I woke up at four in the morning because I had fallen asleep on my sleep inducing couch earlier that night. I willed myself to stay in bed until six and thus formed a headache that took massive aspirin consumption to get rid of. And again, this morning I was awake at six!
Hmm...I could blame all of this early rising to not staying awake past ten most evenings but....I'm sure the blame lies elsewhere....perhaps the newspaper people are to blame. When I wake up that early I am prone to go get a newspaper from the scary convenience store down the street. At six in the morning you would think all the scaries are still asleep but noooo they are at the Kwik Shop waiting for me to arrive with my uncombed hair and my unflattering pajamas just so they can give me that "wow, you just woke up and boy does it show" kind of look.
I shake my fist at you Slumber Gods!

December 28, 2006

It's all about location, location, location

Have I mentioned yet that I have had ongoing problems with my apartment? Well, if I haven't then you are in for quite a read!
I moved to this place a year ago. It's situated right outside the ghetto
but at the time I thought "hey, I can co-exist with the thugs and the
thugs can co-exist with me" and I thought that would be my only worry, but noooooo, the real problem seems to be the apartment itself! For a while I thought it was haunted and then I realized that haunted would be easier to deal with, Ota Mae Brown to the rescue!.
Here are just a few incidents that have happened over the last year.
The place was getting new shingles one weekend and when I got home the
roofers had thrown every last shingle into my patio, the only entrance
to my apartment! My landlord, neighbors, and I had to make a bridge
from plywood to cross the moat of shingles to my door. It was very
harrowing, rusty nails to my left, old shingles to my right, I'm lucky
to have come out of that alive!
One time I came back from a trip to Colorado and upon entering my apartment
the first thing I see is an entire wall missing to my hallway that
blocks the downstairs renter from my apartment. I could see into her
place and she could walk up to mine! Argh! I think that one was the worst. The other bad part to that was Craig was with me at the time and told EVERYONE at work! I think he even told some street people but I still can't pin him to that....
Another incident was when my patio gate got swung in the opposite direction of
the way it's supposed to open, got stuck, and I couldn't get in. I had
to go get someone who works for my landlord, she tried to open it but
with no luck. I then had to give her a boost over the gate (yeah, I
actually did the cupping of the two hands, she put her foot in it and
up she went), and still couldn't get the gate open. Now to this story
there is a bit of a "silly Teresa" mistake that was made. I'll just say that
the darn door WAS stuck and that trying to open it the wrong way was
not the only problem that the door had!
There are so many more incidents that I could mention but I would probably start thinking "why am I still at this place?", and want to move out. Alas, I have moved so many times in the last few years my friends and co-workers refuse to
help me move anymore. What I really need is an army of movers at my
disposal. Ooh, a robot army! Or maybe just one robot, the upkeep on an
army of robots could get costly. So, your mission, blog readers, if you
see an idle robot, send him my way. Unless he looks like a thug, then
just move right along....

December 27, 2006

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

Who cares! It can't compare to the sound of a house full of children! I
forget how noisy and rambunctious kids can be but as soon as I enter
into my parent's house I have four little reminders begging me to play
tea party, hide and seek, Twister, and I think "I forgot this?"!
Anywho, I had a very nice Christmas, lots of family time was had, lots of loot was received, and now it's back to the ol' coal mine today.
My mom got me this new dvd player that I need to unbox and plug in but I'm rather wary of this new machine. It's a brand I have never ever heard of (it's a cheapy brand and believe me, I know ALL the cheapy brands). It'a Protron dvd player. It sounds like it belongs on the cartoon Transformers. But my Protron dvd player would be a Decepticon, the bad guys. It just sound rather menacing. "I AM PROTRON. Give me all of your digital video discs and I will not destroy your puny planet." So I hesitate to plug this new fangled dvd
player in not only for the well being of planet Earth but it seems like
the last time I plugged a new electronic device into my television I
totally fried the tv. Tonight I will make my decision. Maybe during the day, Protron will unbox itself and go off, trying to take over the world. That at least will take the decision out of my hands.

December 22, 2006

A little early but, Merry Christmas!

This will be my last post...until I get back from Christmas vacation! Ho, ho, had you fooled didn't I?
I leave for the zoo (my parent's house) tomorrow morning with a laundry
basket full of gifts. When I need to take lots of things home, I use
the ever handy laundry basket. I think this innovative carrying procedure started with my two aunts on my mom's side. Every Thanksgiving they bring food in laundry baskets and it seems to work like a charm. These baskets serve a dual purpose by not only being able to carry the food in but they can take your cranberry and gravy soiled clothes out!
But I digress, tonight's excitement is a Texas Hold'em poker night at Lou's house. Her sister is visiting for the holiday and we always love to take unsuspecting relatives for their money! Sigh, okay, we only play with poker chips. But still, we shall bleed her dry of all her poker chips!
Today at work, the people I supervise and I are having our Christmas exchange. Yesterday I received two FANTASTIC gift from Bob. He not only gave me a gift certificate to Panera but he got me, ready for it?....a hanging fruit basket type thingie! You know, one of those things that hangs from you kitchen ceiling so
your fruit won't go bad so quickly? That is what I got and that is soooo
what I wanted! My reasoning for not buying fruit so often is because I
just place it on my counter and it goes bad on one side and then I won't eat it, thus forcing me to go buy chocolate as a means of solace for my lost fruit. So now, no more sorry chocolate, I am after apples, oranges, mangoes, and coconuts!
I also received a warm fuzzy blanket from Lin's sister and her children, and from Lin and Brian I received a very lovely Orlando Bloom puzzle. NICE!
Mary Lou gave me a poinsettia that I have not killed yet, yeah me! and Craig got me a very fragrant candle.
So all in all a good Christmas so far. Now to see if my Mom and Dad got me that pony. Cross the fingers!

December 19, 2006

A Pre-Christmas lament

Christmas shopping is finito! After many stores and debit card swipes, sprinkled by a bit of cash here and there, I have finally completed shopping. My family seems to be growing by 1.2 children every year and it seems like there are more co-workers to buy for as well, making this one of the costliest holidays I can remember. Even as I write this, I have a coffee mug right beside me with the depiction of the painting "Scream" on it....how fitting, that is exactly what I feel like doing! I'm not even going to bother wrapping the presents this year. I feel that bags are the wave of the future. The wrapping paper companies should be very afraid of these Christmas bag makers. Bags are easy to use, fairly inexpensive, and no tape or scissors are required! It's a no brainer! And the best thing about bags are if you are sneaky and careful enough you can reuse them over and over again with no one ever knowing! *insert diabolical laugh here*.
Hmm...I've also been harassed by the state of my Christmas tree. It's a six foot artificial tree with only lights on it. No ornaments, no tree topper, just lights. Knowing this outraged Julie and her family. No ornaments or tree topper? That's an abomination they cried!
I don't want ornaments darn it! If you have them, you have to keep them stored somewhere and then put them on the tree when the time comes and then take them down, then find their storage space again that has probably since been filled up by Christmas bags that you are going to reuse next year!
Maybe when I have a large house that can sustain my bag recycling center, then and only then will I think about purchasing ornaments. But about that tree topper.....

December 15, 2006

Hairy Situations

After many months I finally broke down and got a hair cut. Not that I am opposed to haircuts it's just that when I do get one I end up looking like a ten year old boy for a few weeks because they cut my hair so short.
I tend to go to the cheap-o chop shops mostly because I am pretty indifferent to my hair. The trade off is that I get my hair cut quickly, cheaply, and it usually looks good but I am subjected to the wackiest hair cutters. I usually strike up a conversation with them while they cut away and the stories they tell me are so funny! One lady told me about all her children and I commented on something mundane like how were they doing in school and she replied that she didn't know because they had all been taken away and put in child protection services. Yikes!
Another time I had this very very odd lady who was to only give me a haircut but ended up giving me a haircut, shampoo, massage, and facial! I was too scared to tell her "stop touching my face!"
Yesterday's girl was equally funny. She referred to herself as an "open-mouthed" hair cutter. She leaves her mouth open while she cuts hair. One day she had lip gloss on and this guys hair she was cutting ended up all over her lips from the lip gloss....ewww!
Then another time when she was back in cosmetology school she was giving a pedicure to some older lady. I guess a toenail was clipped and landed right into her mouth. Ugh, if I EVER bad mouth my job, slap me around a bit. For all of the maddening troubles that go on at the library fortunately I never have had toenails launched at me.

December 11, 2006

Technical Difficulties

Okay, I admit to being no genius when it comes to electronics. I don't know much about computers except how to break them, I can't change the songs on my MP3 player without A LOT of assistance, and if you ask me
if I can at least print from my computer I will gladly stick a fork in my eye....for that has been an ongoing problem for me. Basically, my computer won't print to it's printer. My friend Craig gave me this computer without a printer so after some time I thought, I'm ready to print something and ended up getting a printer
for Christmas. But weeks went by without me hooking up the thing until finally in the spring I decided to do the deed and install my printer...by myself! Whoo-hoo! The installation went great, true, I didn't have a USB
thingy but Craig got me set up with one. So now I'm ready to print right? Um, no. I try to test print a page and when I hit the print button the whole computer reboots itself! Yeah, no printing just rebooting! I tried several different ways of printing but they all failed and I think my computer restarted itself up to ten times. I
could tell it was getting a little cranky so I waited for help. The seller of my wonky computer(hmm...Craig again, sense of foreboding should have been steeling over me) came over and also had no luck
fixing it. He thought it could be the computer's problem but did not rule out my printer. I then thought, what the heck, I don't need to print no stinkin ' papers, and left it alone.
Many moons passed until I was able to get another printer from my sister. This one was neat
and free, so I was ready to try it out. Hooked it up, ready to rock,
and I was met with failure once again. Rats! Stupid,junky, no good computer rebooted over and over again.
More moons passed and a meteor shower went by until finally I was given a
super sweet printer/scanner from Craig. It has tons of bells and
whistles and is very heavy, heavy means quality in my world. If one bag
of chips is heavier than the other, I say go for the mega-weight one! I
know, I'm pretty wild!
I lugged it up to my apartment and started the arduous process of hooking it up and installing the software. This actually went fairly quickly because I am now a Printer Master of the Black Belt variety. I had the nice little "installation complete" box come up and it asked me to test a print page. YIKES! Moment of truth
here. I pushed the "print" button. A white light brighter than anything I've ever seen started to appear before my eyes. A loud booming voice said to me "Teresa, do not print anymore. It is time for you stop
hitting CTRL P and rest."
Um, okay, that didn't happen. In truth, nothing happened excpet a red "!" light came on meaning trouble with the printer. Sigh... I give up. Has anyone ever seen Office Space? There is a great scene in that movie
where the office workers take the reviled office fax machine out to a field and just bash the heck out of it. Very cathartic. Hmmm...does anyone happened to know where I can find an open field?

December 10, 2006

Not Your Mother's Broomstick

I think I have found the funniest magazine EVER! I was perusing the magazine rack at Hastings yesterday when I found myself next to the "paranormal" section. The main topics of these magazines were UFOs,
conspiracy theories, and alien life. The best one though was one called "New Witch: Not your mother's broomstick ". I flipped through it for about ten minutes and I just couldn't look away! It was too nutty to put down. The main story
was pretty good, I can't mention it here because it's pretty darn racy,
let's just say they don't shy away from anything! I think the best part
was when I looked at an advertisement and it said "Absinthe,
Belladonna, Hemlock....you call them poisons, we call them perfumes."
How good is that?!
They also have a column called "Goodwitch/Badwitch". Here's their tag line "Do you have a problem you want the witches to tackle? Get two views for the price of one! Ask goodwitch and badwitch." Who needs those crazy newspaper advice columnists when you have two witches that could help you out? And two for the price of one! Can it get any better?!

December 6, 2006

Free means free, but geez!

While shopping at the grocery store the other day I saw a husband and
wife duo go hog wild over the free sample offering by the deli.
I think the sample was something as mundane as colbyjack but that didn't matter!
It was free and by gum they were going to take as many as they wanted.
Between the two of them I think they took about eight pieces of cheese.
That's crazy! Maybe if it was some kind of fancy pants cheese I could understand, because who can afford fancy pants cheese? But no, this was all around normal cheap-o cheese!
This caught by attention not only because I thought it rude but
Julie's mom works at Sam's Club as the free sample lady and has these kinds of
people come by her little sample stand all the time. She was telling me
that this old guy (sorry, not very pc ) always comes to the store and
drops by her stand to get the free eats. This is not so abnormal until
she tells me that he does some type of weird costume change to distract
her to the fact that "hey, I'm the same guy!"
He comes by with a hat, then no hat, then a coat, then no coat, and so on and so forth. Then there's this one lady that seems homeless and stays in the store all day eating from the sample stands. FOR THE WHOLE DAY! I thought Sam's would kick her
out but apparently they're not that worried about their free sample supply, or the fact that someone is hanging about and not buying anything! I, myself do partake of the goodies offered but never more than once and never if it looks like something gross....I shudder at the thought of minced fish bites....

December 4, 2006

But I don't wanna make lemonade

My car the lemon. Today I take the little bugger to the collision center to have them take a look at the scrape I received at the airport. I don't think it should be too much of a problem, it's only about two feet long and a couple inches wide. I guess I could have used a magic marker to cover it, but oh well.
This car has been one big headache ever since I got her (yes, it's a she and her name is Bluebell).
The car before her was my beloved Nissan Sentra. I got that car in 2001 and never had a lick of trouble with her. She was so dependable and forgave me some really really dumb driving mistakes. Like the big curb drive over of 2001, the toddler miss of 2004, the innumerable flat tires throughout her life, and the list goes on.
This year I wrecked her and had to replace her quite quickly. I eventually chose my current car, a 2004 Honda Civic and have regretted that decision ever since.
I've had the car for over six months and out of those six months I have had her in the shop over ten times. A couple emission sensor problems, my door handle broke, my rear defrost didn't work, new front brakes, and what I think is a bit of a heater problem that I haven't told anyone about yet.
Sigh, I lament over this car constantly and should be happy with what I have, but I can't help wishing that I never had that stupid wreck and that I would have my trusty old sidekick still with me.

December 2, 2006

Poisoning the Guacamole!

While I was sick this past week I watched a lot of daytime television. I think perhaps jumping out of the window would have been a better alternative. I don't think I've every watched so much drivel in all my life; unless you count that time I was hooked on the first season of Flavor Flave, but let's forget about that for now. I mean there is absolutely nothing redeeming about daytime tv! I know that soap operas are by most peoples standards mindless entertainment but I think they have really scraped the bottom of the barrel these days. Has anyone ever took time to watch five minutes of "Passions"? I know, I know, your right hand to have those five minutes back, right? Currently they have a toddler on there who apparently plays some kind of witch, and since the kid is too young to make sense verbally, they have thought bubbles coming out of her head! Thought bubbles! Out of her head! Nuts!
I then switched over to watch some news but they kept reporting the same stories over and over again that I had to stop watching. Yes, I get it, the White House decorated for Christmas and I'm happy that Laura Bush gave every news reporter a tour, good for them!
I think when I switched to a non-news station my eyes got confused by NOT having a news ticker line at the bottom of the screen!
Anywho....just a reminder that if you do stay home during the week, be sure to have a really good selection of DVD's or a nice selection of books to read. My suggestion: kill two birds with one stone and read the book Pride and Prejudice and then watch the movie(s).....that will last ya a while!