Technical Difficulties

Okay, I admit to being no genius when it comes to electronics. I don't know much about computers except how to break them, I can't change the songs on my MP3 player without A LOT of assistance, and if you ask me
if I can at least print from my computer I will gladly stick a fork in my eye....for that has been an ongoing problem for me. Basically, my computer won't print to it's printer. My friend Craig gave me this computer without a printer so after some time I thought, I'm ready to print something and ended up getting a printer
for Christmas. But weeks went by without me hooking up the thing until finally in the spring I decided to do the deed and install my printer...by myself! Whoo-hoo! The installation went great, true, I didn't have a USB
thingy but Craig got me set up with one. So now I'm ready to print right? Um, no. I try to test print a page and when I hit the print button the whole computer reboots itself! Yeah, no printing just rebooting! I tried several different ways of printing but they all failed and I think my computer restarted itself up to ten times. I
could tell it was getting a little cranky so I waited for help. The seller of my wonky computer(hmm...Craig again, sense of foreboding should have been steeling over me) came over and also had no luck
fixing it. He thought it could be the computer's problem but did not rule out my printer. I then thought, what the heck, I don't need to print no stinkin ' papers, and left it alone.
Many moons passed until I was able to get another printer from my sister. This one was neat
and free, so I was ready to try it out. Hooked it up, ready to rock,
and I was met with failure once again. Rats! Stupid,junky, no good computer rebooted over and over again.
More moons passed and a meteor shower went by until finally I was given a
super sweet printer/scanner from Craig. It has tons of bells and
whistles and is very heavy, heavy means quality in my world. If one bag
of chips is heavier than the other, I say go for the mega-weight one! I
know, I'm pretty wild!
I lugged it up to my apartment and started the arduous process of hooking it up and installing the software. This actually went fairly quickly because I am now a Printer Master of the Black Belt variety. I had the nice little "installation complete" box come up and it asked me to test a print page. YIKES! Moment of truth
here. I pushed the "print" button. A white light brighter than anything I've ever seen started to appear before my eyes. A loud booming voice said to me "Teresa, do not print anymore. It is time for you stop
hitting CTRL P and rest."
Um, okay, that didn't happen. In truth, nothing happened excpet a red "!" light came on meaning trouble with the printer. Sigh... I give up. Has anyone ever seen Office Space? There is a great scene in that movie
where the office workers take the reviled office fax machine out to a field and just bash the heck out of it. Very cathartic. Hmmm...does anyone happened to know where I can find an open field?